Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
