North Korea, Best Korea!
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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