Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
