Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
