I think I am morally bankrupt
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
