Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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