You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Randomize
