Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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