why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
