i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
