I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
