i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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