I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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