I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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