East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
