Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
