I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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