All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
