You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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