just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
