There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
