they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
