I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
