i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
