from now on my penis is your penis
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
