is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Boobs speak an international language.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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