you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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