So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
