Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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