i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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