My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
