the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
