Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
