Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
