I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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