I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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