There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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