My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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