I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There r osticjed everywhere
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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