i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
