none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
