I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
