Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
