So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
