Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
