stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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