I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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