Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
