all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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