Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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